Splish, splash, I was taking a shower
When the traffic light turned green
And I was sucked down the drain.
But I didn’t much care
It was Adventure Time
And I wanted to visit my good friend Merve—
I never believed when the tabloids said he died.
Merve the Turtle
He ain’t no stock broker
He don’t keep tabs on the Dow Jones
He don’t know your self worth
And he certainly won’t pay your tab—
He’ll never play your rumor game.
He be belly up
Sipping from his sippy cup
Sitting on the couch
And watching a Jeopardy repeat
Because he travels to an offbeat
He’s got three feet,
Three legs and two tails—Yes sir.
He survived Chernobyl
Because Merve the Turtle
He’s impervious to your death-by-tainted-lettuce Lies
So go ahead.
Go yell it from the mountain where
Nobody will hear because
Those hills don’t have ears
Those hills have eyes
And they be creep’n people the freak out—
Merve is indifferent to your shouts for help.
He can’t afford the mortgage on a monastery
He ain’t handing out sanctuary like
Cheese on a stick at a one direction concert
The only direction this turtle walks is
Shuffle, shuffle, shuffling.
His pace is slow
But he always be getting there
You can count on that—
That turtle don’t care.
He be sideways and spinning
And kicking his three feet up
When his destination is close because
He won’t be late
But he also won’t be early—Look out!
This reptile’s getting squirrely
When you call heads
He’ll raise you tails
Because he’s got a tail to spare
Merve’s got his four eyes on you.
He sees where your hand is sewn on
Crooked at the wrist
He knows the hoax you’re about to deal out
And that don’t jive with him—No sir.
Even when he’s not playing
He’s better at your game than you.
Merve the Turtle has got you
© “Merve” by Tiffany J. Sherman | Author of “Three Rivers Deep”